Self-reorganization

Weird title~

What i mean is: to have a new self. A new point of view in my life.
I neec to "rearrange" myself.
I need to grow stronger,even thou im strong enough right now.
People keep asking me to be softer.
Wow, what a big challenge.
I'd never be soft in my life before. This is really what i need to learn.
" 当个强女人，不当女强人。"
Means I need to keep my feminine characters with me~

I'm thinking how to have a new life.
Of course i know i need to have revolution in my life,but how?
These are the quetions im been asking myself.
What can i do in M'sia? What i need to do to rebuild my confidence??
What does that mean to "bury" my past?
How to bury? How to throw it away???

Now, i can only sure that im gonna read books. I need some books. But which book? I don't know.
Myabe,I just need to have a rest. Having some private time in the house,where i called Home.
Planning to meet my old friends. We known each other for more than 10years.
I dont even need to think,their faces are already present in my mind.
They never leave.
I miss you guys,so much~
Accompany me to go Teluk Batik,alright??
I need sea. I want to listen to the sea.
But Im not sure will i have that much of time staying in Beruas....
I might only go back for 2~3days. So sad.

Looking forward to my brand new self.

BRAND NEW YEAR~

2011 ended,and 2012 is just started...
Let's summarise 2011.

Wow, what a bombastic year I had.
I surrounded, accompanied by loves all the time.
Those from family,from 9-17, from friends here in Moscow,and those from M'sia,my hometown friends. And of course,from him.

But at the end of 2011,I lost one of them. His love is no longer mine.
I felt sad for quite some time. I cried for uncountable time.
But, it's all over now.
In this brand new,expected to be more exciting year 2012, I will let this sadness go away,totally.
I hope I'd not be sad anymore after this.
It's hard and kind of impossuble.
Yet, i'd like this to happen.
It's really hurt,so hurtful that if i dont do that, things may keep bothering me until the day i completely broken down.
So, to avoid such condition,i need to do something.
The first step is: Forget whatever shit he did,he said,he thought.
Thank him for present in my life once before.
In the future, just ignore him will make me feel better.

In another way is: At the end of 2011, I got MORE and MORE LOVE from other aspects.
I dont have his love, but I GAIN lots and more from others. They love me.
My friends, my family, everyone i know, LOVE me more.
Thankyou,everyone!!!I love you all too!!!!
Thank God to have these people in my life.
I'll be thankful and I appreciate presence of everyone of you!!

Thanks everyone for letting me had a fruitful year in 2011.
In 2012,Let's make each others a happening person ever!!
I LOVE YOU!!!!

In this brand new year, I would like to be more discipline~~
3rd year 2nd sem,fighting!!!!

Going back home soon~~Give me zachut please,teachers!!!!!!